If I can be honest and transparent for a minute family, can I confess there are times when I do not WANT to be the bigger or ‘holy’ person? Sometimes my first instinct is to react with several choice expressions. I have my vocabulary full of dirty words and phrases ready to be articulated, my hip ready to hold my hand, my head ready to shake, eyes ready to roll, and the development of the conversation already have been rehearsed in my mind.
Many times I KNEW it had to be God covering my mouth and leading me out of a possible conflict, as a teacher pulling a student away from a potential fight that could be triggered by one aggravated word.
Now I will admit there have been times when I didn’t behave as the bigger or more holy person; however those incidents are becoming few, to the times when I have.
Recently, I have been in a predicament as I described above. I was ready to pick up the phone and give someone a piece of my mind and holy was nowhere near it. However, instead of picking up the phone, I mistakenly (a good mistake) picked up the Bible and the first scripture that my eyes fell on was Romans 12: 9 -21.
But the word that convicted me where I stood was Romans 12: 17-19, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes or everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord” (NIV)
OH honey! I was convicted but at the same time wanted to fall out kicking and screaming because I don’t like being the bigger or holy person all the time, especially when I’m angry. But God reminds me, that it’s ok to be angry, but not to sin (Ephesians 4:26).
So in the midst of frustration, anger, and all of these emotions, I am learning to take a step back and breathe. Because people are watching to see how you will react, especially once you start proclaiming to live your life for Christ. People want to test you themselves, so when you revert back to your B.C. days in your reactions, they can say ‘Oh I told you that he (or she) was still the same. They haven’t changed one bit! I told you!”
This has been a constant struggle for me because who wants to be continually disrespected, lied on or tried? But in the midst of all of those emotions that come along when I am angry, I hear Him say to me ‘Dana, do what YOU need to do to live in harmony with others, and don’t take revenge. I am watching how YOU respond and if YOU do all that YOU can do to live at peace with everyone without getting entangled in the madness, then I’ll take care of the rest.”
I hold onto that. I don’t know what you hold onto when you find yourself in irate situations, but I remember that God is asking me to continue to live in harmony, as it depends on me. Even if others don’t make peace a possibility. Do all that you can do, because that’s what you will be judged for. It’s like having a group assignment but the teacher is giving individual grades. You are only responsible and graded for your work and not the others.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Food for Thought - Nehemiah
The past few weeks, God has awakened me between the hours of 1 and 3am to pray and lay hands on my family. Going from room to room; where my husband sleeps, to where my daughter dreams, to my womb where my son is growing. I pray for their covering, asking God to exchange their strength for His, to impart His wisdom, love, discernment and intelligence into them. I prayed for His love to be shown between each of us, and to protect and guard the integrity of my marriage, my family and household. I pray for the growth of their spiritual relationship with Him. And that every lie, weapon, curse, spell, and form of witchcraft or evil that is spoken against my house is destroyed and sent back to the pits of hell. “Nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.” Psalm 91:6-8 (NIV)
As I have been praying God has been moving. He has been bonding my family together in the type of love that anyone from a distance, or not spiritually inclined to the will of God could not understand. I reflect on Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (NIV)” With one cord representing God, the second represents my husband and I, as we are one, and the third represents my children.
While I have been praying for my family, He has given me a higher sense of discernment and wisdom as I have sat in His presence the past few weeks. Giving me a keen insight on discerning His voice from the enemy, how to respond instead of reacting, and that I don’t have to answer every phone call and entertain every conversation that I feel from the beginning is not a conversation that I need to have. He also has been revealing the plan of destruction and distraction the enemy has before it has unfolded; as He has done many times before in the past.
Last week, while my husband and daughter were outside doing their daily exercise regimen around the neighborhood, I began to read the book of Nehemiah chapter 6. Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall doing what God had told him to do and when his enemies heard, they tried distracting him with lies, and attacking his character. They tried to do just enough to get him off the wall, off the project God gave Him to do, so they could kill him or in essence, stop God’s work. However, Nehemiah kept working and even responded “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?” Nehemiah 6:4 (NIV) The lies, the accusations, and the distractions of his enemies who were at a DISTANCE, did not stop. However, Nehemiah did not allow it to stop the work that was supposed to go forth.
As I mediated and consulted with my mentor on this, I began to understand what God was showing me. Like Nehemiah, I am on the wall doing a great work for God. I am carrying the first-born son of my husband, my marriage and my family and the enemy really doesn’t like that. For it states in Genesis 3:15 “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head and you will strike his heel (NIV).” My son is a child of the covenant and is a threat to the kingdom of hell. That is why this pregnancy has been more challenging because the enemy is trying to stop the work that God is creating while I am on the wall. But I rebuke the hand of the enemy against my body and my son in the name of Jesus. I am also on the wall building a God-centered marriage and family and I do not have time to get off the wall to explain how we run my marriage or house with those who aren’t inclined to the things of God. Because not only do they not understand, but I am too busy doing a work that can’t be stopped, just to get entangled into a conversation with the enemy. That is why many ‘friends’, and pre-existing relationships I had before and during my marriage must be closed.
It is in the midnight hour when He puts me into action, praying, anointing and covering my family. But it’s in the noonday when He explained to me why. Because of what He’s doing in my marriage and family, it’s imperative that I stay on the wall and keep my family covered before we go out into the world for the day. Then we will be able to see things as they are, through the eyes of God, and continue to work on the project that He has ordained for us to do.
So what about you? Is there a project that God, not yourself, has called you to complete but you’re getting entangled in the distractions of those in the distance and what they are saying? Or, are you one of those distance distractions the enemy is using in attempt to stop the project He has someone else doing?
As I have been praying God has been moving. He has been bonding my family together in the type of love that anyone from a distance, or not spiritually inclined to the will of God could not understand. I reflect on Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken (NIV)” With one cord representing God, the second represents my husband and I, as we are one, and the third represents my children.
While I have been praying for my family, He has given me a higher sense of discernment and wisdom as I have sat in His presence the past few weeks. Giving me a keen insight on discerning His voice from the enemy, how to respond instead of reacting, and that I don’t have to answer every phone call and entertain every conversation that I feel from the beginning is not a conversation that I need to have. He also has been revealing the plan of destruction and distraction the enemy has before it has unfolded; as He has done many times before in the past.
Last week, while my husband and daughter were outside doing their daily exercise regimen around the neighborhood, I began to read the book of Nehemiah chapter 6. Nehemiah was rebuilding the wall doing what God had told him to do and when his enemies heard, they tried distracting him with lies, and attacking his character. They tried to do just enough to get him off the wall, off the project God gave Him to do, so they could kill him or in essence, stop God’s work. However, Nehemiah kept working and even responded “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?” Nehemiah 6:4 (NIV) The lies, the accusations, and the distractions of his enemies who were at a DISTANCE, did not stop. However, Nehemiah did not allow it to stop the work that was supposed to go forth.
As I mediated and consulted with my mentor on this, I began to understand what God was showing me. Like Nehemiah, I am on the wall doing a great work for God. I am carrying the first-born son of my husband, my marriage and my family and the enemy really doesn’t like that. For it states in Genesis 3:15 “And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head and you will strike his heel (NIV).” My son is a child of the covenant and is a threat to the kingdom of hell. That is why this pregnancy has been more challenging because the enemy is trying to stop the work that God is creating while I am on the wall. But I rebuke the hand of the enemy against my body and my son in the name of Jesus. I am also on the wall building a God-centered marriage and family and I do not have time to get off the wall to explain how we run my marriage or house with those who aren’t inclined to the things of God. Because not only do they not understand, but I am too busy doing a work that can’t be stopped, just to get entangled into a conversation with the enemy. That is why many ‘friends’, and pre-existing relationships I had before and during my marriage must be closed.
It is in the midnight hour when He puts me into action, praying, anointing and covering my family. But it’s in the noonday when He explained to me why. Because of what He’s doing in my marriage and family, it’s imperative that I stay on the wall and keep my family covered before we go out into the world for the day. Then we will be able to see things as they are, through the eyes of God, and continue to work on the project that He has ordained for us to do.
So what about you? Is there a project that God, not yourself, has called you to complete but you’re getting entangled in the distractions of those in the distance and what they are saying? Or, are you one of those distance distractions the enemy is using in attempt to stop the project He has someone else doing?
Friday, July 17, 2009
What I Learned in 2008 & Will Take Into 2009 (Revisited)
I learned again that God is the ULTIMATE provider and has the last word!
I experienced disappointment and hurt in May, after receiving RAVE reviews from my supervisor on a Friday, only to be unexpectedly laid off that following Wednesday. It was actually May 7, the day after my now-husband's birthday, when I was called into the office and told that sadly, the company and I needed to 'part ways' due to the financial position the economy was leaving the company in. A couple weeks later I was offered a position that I applied for a month earlier with another company. And it was not just ANY company, but the #1 client to the company that laid me off in May…
I learned that God’s timing is truly not our timing. While my husband and I were planning for a 2009 spring wedding, God told us the time was in 2 weeks. Tuesday before Thanksgiving was when He would meet us at the altar and seal the covenant we would make with Him. Confirmation reached our hearts when all we had to do was show up because everything we needed was provided, at no expense to us. We learned from this experience to trust God and embrace whatever change of plans occurs in our lives because He will provide whatever is needed, if He is the one that allows it.
We also learned what really matters! In the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding sometimes the focus is put more on the production than the covenant. But in the end, who participates in the wedding, who attends the wedding, what shade of green your linen napkins are doesn’t really matter! The only one who you need to worry about showing up other than the bride and groom is the Holy Spirit.
What I have learned the past few weeks that has me constantly asking God ‘Why do you love me so much’ is that God really has my back! Some people have tried to set me up, and aggravate me…family, so-called friends. But the Holy Spirit IS a snitch and if you’re in touch with your star player, He will show you the plan of your real enemies before it tries to pass…trust me! But God turned around ALL of their bad intentions for my benefit and prepared something for me, literally in the face of my enemies. So when I say to leave my Judas alone, trust me I mean it! Those who try to sabotage you end up pushing you up to another level. Therefore, I think we should all take a moment to give a shout-out to our haters!
I’ve also learned to accept that some people are just mean and haters lol! You want to try and love everyone, or I have…but some people just won’t let you! But I’ve learned to not take it PERSONAL because it’s easier for some people to live in your past and try to tell you about yourself, or blame you for something that doesn’t really matter anyway, than it is for them to look at themselves and be accountable for their issues! So I learned to not take it personal and don’t entertain it! It’s really not you…it’s them!
So, while some may adopt new year slogans such as ‘2009 will be just fine, all mine, or I will not longer be blind (in the emotional or spiritual sense)’ I will adopt the following, not just for 2009, but for the rest of the years of my life. ‘God is still the head of my life. My husband is still the head of my home. My daughter is still ahead of the class! And my lessons will keep me ahead of the game!’
What have you learned???
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